a look back

This weekend feels like a happy dream.

Figures were up first on feis day, and in 15&O we had five two-hand teams, two four-hands, and an eight-hand.  I was on a two-hand with my sister and a four-hand team.  I felt good about how we all danced and had zero expectations--and we had a great time doing it.  Watching the eight hand from the back of the room, everyone was all smiles.  I didn't even think to check the results until I had a set of parents hurrying up to me

We had completely swept the figures.

I was floored.  (Sis's helpful remark: "We're good, get over it" when I expressed my surprise.)  My school took 1st, 2nd and 3rd in the two-hands, 1st and 2nd in the four-hands, and won the eight-hand.  Even the little girls' ceili did well: 1st in four-hand, 1st and 3rd in two-hand.  Before I get too excited I have to remind myself that this is kid stuff.  We're training to win the regionals and compete at Worlds, not win feises.  But it's awesome to have that kind of positive feedback, to know that your hard work is paying off, and especially on our first outing.

My goal for solos was to have fun. My comps were huge so I knew I didn't have a great chance of placing, so "have fun" it was.  I grinned and showed off my steps the best I could and even though I knew I probably wasn't going to medal, I was so pleased about teams the rest of the day could go horribly as far as I was concerned.

Personal results recap: 3rd place in 2-hand, 2nd place in 4-hand, 5th place in traditional set (probably would have placed higher if I didn't mess up in the set).  And when I got my results back I was one away from placing in everything else.  Other people might find that frustrating, but it reminded me of something...

A year ago on the drive back from Kansas City I was talking to my sister, wondering if maybe, just maybe, I could come back and dance solos.  It seemed like a crazy proposition at the time.  And a year later, I came back with medals and a hunger for more.  Maybe next Kansas City feis I'll be in Prelims.  With everything that's happened this year, that dream doesn't seem so crazy anymore.

Whenever I get frustrated with myself for not progressing fast enough, I have to take stock.  I only thought of going back to solo competition a year ago.  My first limited competition back was in November 2012 (only light jig, single jig and trad set).  I didn't return to competition with a full slate of dances until March of this year.  At my feis in March I was placing second to last.  I am making progress, even though I might not always be able to see it.

Prelims by this time next year--a stretch, but achievable.
Oireachtas goals: I want to represent my school well in any teams I end up on and I want to win my traditional set competition.  Not place, outright win.

It's possible.  It all is.

95 days of sweat, practice and focus to go.

stuff to work on

Another week, another dance class weekend in the books.  My body is smarting.  Still need to get used to this new "dancing two days in a row" thing.  I'll get to the bad parts of the weekend first before I get to the good bits so we can end on a positive note.

The bad: I'm having a difficult time keeping up in ceili.  It's not that I'm being lazy; it's just that I physically can't do it right now.  And that makes me so, so sad.  I have a heart condition that's making it difficult to build stamina and I'm going to talk it over with my family doc in a week and a half to see what can be done about it.  I was basically told "your heart beats really fast and there isn't really a good reason why".  I need a better fix besides "here, take these pills".

The good: learned a new treble reel step that was ~choreographed for me~ by a classmade and it is AWESOME.  It's also hard to wrap my head around, much less do, but I WILL CONQUER IT.  I'm registered for a novice/PW treble reel in Kansas City so it's giving me some motivation to get it in my head.

I've also decided to switch sets; Jockey is different but I haven't placed well with it so I learned Job of Journeywork instead.  I think I've been taught the lead approximately five times in the past 10 years but have never learned the set, so that was cool.  It's easy but has some tricky parts and I'm absolutely nailing the rhythm.  I just have to do it approximately ten million times before KC now!

Acheiving the (Semi) Impossible

First, read this: http://irishdanceteacher.wordpress.com/2010/12/15/achieving-the-semi-impossible/

My sis filled this out about this time last year so I figure this would be a good way to organize my thoughts about my goals.

1. Write down what you want. The best cross I'm physically able to give.  Strong, easy carriage.  Stamina for days.  Better lift.  To be a real competitor--the kind of dancer that comes on stage and impresses people.  Competing in solos at the 2014 Oireachtas.
 
2. Technical progress: Learning new and more difficult material.  Being consistent with my cross/turnout in class.  Keep dancing even though I feel like my legs are going to give out--it's the only way I'm going to improve my stamina.  Trying out new moves that I normally eschew in class (bicycles, birdies, etc)

Mental improvement: Knowing my steps cold so that I can perform them for the judges and have fun with them.  Confidence that I'm giving my best every time I step on stage.  Smiles on stage.

Outward Manifestation of Achievement: Those coveted firsts in prizewinner that will propel me to prelims.  Outright winning the traditional set competition at the Oireachtas this year.  Moving up to the champs class, starting prelim in 2014.

3. From there, hone or consolidate your list (ie what can you work on right now?) Giving my all in class every time.  Being aware of cross every time I dance.  Improving stamina

4/5 Plan how you're going to get there. 
NO STOPPING in ceili or class.
Cross every moment of every dance until it just becomes second nature.
Occasional private lessons with Anna
Stretching and strengthening with therabands and body weight at home
Doing boot camp to improve general fitness
Eating foods that will nourish my body instead of fight with it

7. Make some sort of chart or log.  (This journal, plus I'm printing out a calendar and I'm going to get little checklist stickers for each at-home stretching and boot camp session I do.)

8. TELL YOURSELF YOU CAN DO THIS.  Practice saying "I can do this" to myself before every time I might find difficult.

making the most of my time

I've reminded myself that I need to stop messing around in class.  It's hard when I've just done two hours of ceili to do much of anything in my solo class, but the only way my stamina is going to improve is if I get off my butt and dance.  Teach is starting to have us do three steps to help bolster our stamina, and I died exactly two and a quarter steps into my treble jig.

Three feises left in 2013 and then it's the big dance, the oireachtas.  My goal for 2014 is to move into the champ class and get those two elusive firsts that will propel me to preliminary championships.  But it starts here and now, with boring drills, with dancing that ceili all-out every time, doing that hornpipe one more time even though my body is screaming to just lay down in the middle of the floor in the studio.

Stamina helps:
- dancing all-out, every time, multiple times, in class
- eating foods that give my body a boost of energy before class
- doing my Maniac DVDs 3 times a week

MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR TIME.

you ever have one of those dance classes

...where you're just OFF?  Yeah, that was yesterday.  So funny to come down so hard from a "mountaintop experience" like medaling in the feis and just feeling like you can't get anything right.  I think part of it is the fact that I don't know how to overcross, especially with the aforementioned THIGHS! but I've got the summer to work on it.

I also have enough experience to know that a bad day is just that, a DAY, and I'll survive.  That's a relief.



austin feis!

 

 

As you can tell, Austin was pretty good to me.  :)  3 4ths and a 3rd.  And I really wasn't expecting much from this feis at all, as I got REALLY sick the Thursday class before and wasn't able to work through some of the trouble spots I wanted.  I also had a mini-meltdown in-between my hard and soft shoe but Sis was able to talk me down.  So glad, because I ended up getting 4th in treble jig.  Skipped hornpipe because I'm not 100% in that dance yet, and I felt like I nailed Jockey, but ended up getting nada and a "timing" comment from the judge.  "Er, there was nothing wrong with your timing in that dance," The Teach told me.  "S/he doesn't know what they're talking about."  I was glad he confirmed that because if anything is my problem, it is definitely not timing/rhythm.  Oh well!

 

Most of the other comments I got were about cross, so I guess I know what I need to work on.  I'm not sue HOW MUCH I can work on that because THIGHS, but I'll give it a shot.  :)

 

 

The ceili team is coming along too, although I haven't discussed that much.  One of the adults helping us work on our lines and movements recorded our dancing.  I watched myself doing ceili and surprisingly didn't want to quit immediately afterwards, haha.  I definitely found some things I didn't know I was doing that need improvement, but I feel encouraged rather than discouraged about it.  :)  Teach is starting new classes on Saturdays, which I am thrilled about because I have no life.  Between dance 3x a week and bootcamp at least 2x a week, I am going to be one busy bee.

 

 

And now, summer!  Hoping it'll be full of new choreography, private lessons, practice with the team and fun breakthroughs.

feis in 5 days

Eeep.

My treble jig is coming together and I'm back to feeling comfortable about Jockey.  Soft shoe is good, even with a small change to my reel lead.  Hornpipe is a mess but I'm at peace with that.  I can at least get through it.

I asked the Teach to give me the number one thing to focus on right now, and he said "lift".  Wouldn't have thought of that on my own, so that's some food for thought.

Looking forward to the summer, and the prospect of more classes to help me perfect my craft.  I'm going to really push myself and hopefully learn some new choreography so I'll be fresh and ready for the fall feis season.

 

 



moment of clarity

I won't say the clouds parted and everything will be better from now on, because I've lived long enough to know that's not true, but I had a little bit of a breakthrough at class.

I've been trying to think about what I want NOW from my dancing--what's within my control over the next few months--and the thing that I keep coming back to is "performing".  I suppose the other side of that coin is "having fun".  Lately I've just been kind of slogging through my steps without much flair, and making the same mistakes over and over again.  Some time this afternoon I said "no more."  If I'm gonna make mistakes, I need them to be different ones so I feel like I'm making progress.

I want to really PERFORM my steps.  I want to have fun with them.  I want to tell the judge with my dancing "hey look, you're gonna see something".  But in order to do that, I need to a) actually know my steps, b) give them my all 100% of the time, and c) improve my stamina so I can do all of this.

How am I going to know my steps cold?  BORING PRACTICE
How am I going to accomplish sharper, more stylish steps?  BORING PRACTICE
How am I going to get better stamina so that I can maintain that style throughout the dance?  BORING PRACTICE

I know you're probably reading this thinking "well, duh."  And I don't know what to tell you, lol.  But it really feels like something clicked tonight.  I need to put in the work, and I'll see results.  In order to get to the fun part, I need to do the boring bits.  I feel like recently I've just been waiting for the fun part to jump me in a dark dance alley and all of a sudden I'll know my steps well enough to do them with panache.

I haven't been putting in the work lately.  I've just been going through the motions.

No more.

back to boot camp

...and boy am I sore.  New trainer, new location, new times & days.  I'm hoping this will be the boost I need to get over my malaise.  Lately I've been feeling kind of "stuck" in my dancing--or even like I'm regressing.  Want to pick teach's brain and see if there's anything I'm missing that needs improvement (I already have a laundry list of things I DO know).  Thanks to Mother's Day and a studio conflict there won't be much dance over the next two weeks.

My hard shoes feel like garbage.  I've been trying to break them in since the Oireachtas and they still don't feel good or comfortable.  Not sure if this means I need new shoes or just to spend a weekend dancing and bending the crap out of them.

Pushing through it.

we still in this

I'm in my zone I'm feeling it
Stop blowing my buzz quit killing it
So buy another round
They tried to shut us down
About an hour ago
But we still in this
Turn this sh*t up loud
And buy another round
They tried to shut us down
About an hour ago
But we still in this



I'm still here, and I won't stop until I reach my goals.



Another feis in the books

And no medals again.  At least it wasn't so crushing this time; I wasn't expecting anything so the disappointment wasn't as raw.  I totally blew it on Jockey, which was disappointing, since I feel that's my best chance for a medal.  I want to put some more practice into that dance and have it so smooth I could do it in my sleep, like I did around Oireachtas.  But I got through the rest of my dances and that's a big accomplishment.  When I got my results back, I was only one or two away from placing in three dances (including reel!!!) so I feel kind of encouraged.  ("Now we just need to get you off the floor and higher on your toes," TC said.)

I have to admit, just a week ago I was in such a bad place with dance that I wanted to quit.  I was flooded with negativity and felt like the activity I loved wasn't really loving me back.  Now I am tenatively sidling back up to it again, helped along by a good Sunday class and renewed commitment to figuring out the puzzle that is Irish dance.

I've got a lot of knots to work out in the studio.  I have a new feis in June, and then I have the whole summer to work on new choreography and drilling good habits.  I'm looking forward to it.

Feis recap

Okay, so the feis went...not so well.  Once I got my results back, I saw I was pretty much dead last in almost everything except light jig.  Ouch.  The hard shoe I wasn't so surprised about because I was sliding all over the stage and basically lost my concentration.  On the bright side, my hair and makeup looked great (did the side bun since I had to use the bun wig in some fashion), I'm getting my dress altered to fit better, and tomorrow is a brand new day.  Whoo!

Things to work on:
- cultivating focus and knowing my steps cold so that distractions won't faze me
- getting higher on my toes
- practicing my steps with my back to the mirror and focusing on how my body *feels* instead of using my sight to micro-correct
- stamina, stamina, stamina

back!

 

Okay, I know that was a long hiatus, but I have good excuses!  Really I do.  :)

Next feis is March 2.  Eeeep I am so not ready, so I'm going to do some serious practicing at dance class the next few weeks.  I finalized my registration this week and ended up striking some of the events from my dance card, including hornpipe, non-champ treble reel and a reel/slip jig special.  The special is kind of nice but I'm struggling with my reel steps and don't have a great slip jig either.  Hornpipe will be there soon.  Just not two weeks soon.

My look is coming together, though; (ill-fitting) team dress is obtained, wig has been ordered (update: it won't be available until the next feis NOOOO), crown has been bought secondhand, number clip and matching earrings are in my possession.  I really need to order some crystals and Gem-Tac them on but I'm not sure I'll have time.  I also am leaving the waist alone because I'm having it altered.  Hopefully ill-fitting team dress will be ill-fitting no longer.

Sigh.  It is so uncomfortable sometimes, putting myself out there.  But I'm gonna do it because I don't know what else to do!

baby steps!

Dance stuff is going well.  :)  Slowly but surely I feel like I'm improving, especially in soft shoe (though I still technically need reel steps, whoops).  Teach says everything looks good except my arms and carriage.  WHY IS KEEPING THAT QUADRANT STILL SO HARD???

I decided to just participate in kids' ceili starting this week because I'm not studying my book.  The new edition is supposed to come out soon, and in the meantime I really don't want to study bad material, so I'm kind of in a weird limbo of feeling incompetent.  I got thrown into an eight-hand and today my arms are SO SORE from all the lifts.  I've been working on arms at boot camp all the time and I'm STILL hurting from holding my arms up for that long.  Only in Irish...

My team costume is (allegedly) in production, and I should receive it before the end of the month.  I really hope it fits.  Sent off my deposit for a Kirations solo dress with a delivery date of late October.  I'm thinking black twinkle satin with a emerald green sequin skirt and gold embroidery.  Kind of cliche for a redhead, but I'll get over it.  :)

I thought my first competition back would be in February, but I am donating bone marrow the Wednesday before that competition (which is still really unbelieveable to me, that I get to help save a life, but I digress) so I probably won't be in dancing shape at that point.  However, since it's in town, I'm totally going to go to cheer on everyone and hang out.  My first "real" competition back with a full slate will be in March in Dallas, and I just registered for that.  Three trophy specials too--guess I need to get the left foot of my treble reel sorted soon!

What I still need to work on:
- Perfecting the stamp stamp step of the treble jig--can mostly get it on my right foot, left foot still looks WEIRD
- Learning the second half of the second hornpipe step
- Re-learning / smoothing out reel lead.  I know it, just not well.
- STAMINA. I can get through slip jig but I kinda feel like I'm dying.  Treble jig is...not good.  I can't even imagine what hornpipe looks like.
- Arms, arms, arms.  ARMS.

I'm getting there, and I feel good.