dance family

 

Okay, now that I'm not hurting so bad from the feis (after champs on Saturday I sat down and literally didn't know what to do because I was so used to people asking me for things and keeping the feis moving), I can talk about some of the positive things that happened.  Namely, my dance family.

I've heard that phase before about a thousand times--"dance family"--but haven't really felt it, or understood what it meant, until recently.  I always got along with people at the school, and liked them a lot, but I never felt like I really "belonged", and didn't really feel like I had really found my place yet.  That's completely changed over the past few months.

Being feis chair and lead on the fundraiser is part of it; I can actually help in ways I couldn't as a teen.  Being feis chauffeur is part of it; I love being back on the feis circuit even if I haven't officially returned to competition (though that changes in less than two weeks, eep).  I absolutely love all the girls in the championship class right now; they're awesome people and it's been fun getting to know them better.  Assistant teaching is part of it too.  It's a little weird, still being in this mentor-student relationship, but closer to peers.

It all kind of culminated on Saturday at the feis.  I just felt so proud, seeing our girls up on the podium, two of them at the top of the box for their prelims.  I held one mother's hand during the results and cried with her when her daughter got first.  I was so excited when another dancer finally placed in Prelims, which was her goal before the Oireachtas.  The whole school had a really good day, and I was so proud to be part of such an amazing organization.  We're doing it.  We're doing what we always wanted to do.

So then there's the traditional set competition.  It may not mean much, but it's my end goal this year, and I really want to win this.  Not for myself, but for us.  For all the people who doubted us because we're not a huge school that workshops with big-name teachers.  For all the hours my teachers have put in to give us their expertise.  For my classmates, who have improved and sweated and worked their butts off to win through sheer will.  For my dance family, who have supported me and were excited for me when I said I wanted to come back, even though I wasn't in a place where that even seemed feasible yet.

I'm having a hard time putting it into words, but I just want to say that I'm so incredibly thankful for the people who are around me, and that it inspires me to do better, because I want to make them proud too.  I've never wanted success for myself so badly for other people, but I know what that feels like now.  And it's a great feeling, and I'm going to hold tightly onto it and let it fuel me for the next 24 days.